I haven't done any program work in months!
The idea of me creating database design concept in 3 weeks seems sooo far away. Pencil sketches, screen layouts, deadlines, invoices, timesheets. In a previous life! I'm almost scared to try, in case I discover that I've lost the ability to use that part of my brain! Or I've forgotten how to program, AND be a hard-working career professional. It's a scary thought.
My life is warm and fuzzy lately, in a world of Mr Spider, sleeping and eating without being bothered by any sort of activities.
And it's beginning to bug me.
Yes, I'm having a hard time getting used to the fact that I'm not earning any money. Each month passes and I wish that I could put a Riyal value to the things I've done. I mean that it's not about the money. Rather, the worth of the work I'm doing. Because sometimes, when I'm totaly busy programming something, I pause and think. I find it hard to comprehend that I someone would pay me for making simple administrative tasks, and nothing for this. And then I go back to programming, slowly puzzling over which of the two is worse.
It also bugs me to watch the industry happily going about it's business. Watching things change, trends move, technologies emerge. I feel like I've missed the bus or something.
I watch my old friends and colleagues develop and evolve. I'm getting so out of the loop and groove so quickly! It scares me to think that I might be left on the shelf.
On the other hand, I think I want a change. I'd like to do something with a lot more soul..beside work..Something worthwhile, with purpose and value. Something would make use of my brain..
Ya Allah...If I just could study Master...
I guess in the meantime I'll be quite happy being undecided.
